Many of the young women we work with face conflict in their families or communities. We cannot expect them to solve all the problems around them, but we can help them to develop skills to do this. 

What is the best way to handle a disagreement between people? The four steps below can easily help us resolve a conflict or even reach an agreement.

  1. Separate the problem from the people involved. If you think that people are the problem, it will be very difficult to solve the issue. If you focus on the problem, without thinking about or criticising the people, you will likely find a solution.
  2. Focus on people’s interests, not on their position. People’s positions are how they can meet their interests. If you think beyond what they do or say and focus on their interests (what they want) you will find better solutions.
  3. Create solutions for mutual benefit. Look for solutions that are good for both parties.
  4. Be objective. Use arguments that are impartial to the problem and create solutions for both parties.

Task: Write three conflicts that you have been involved in recently. Tick your answer to each conflict and write the current state (resolved or not yet resolved).


  • Assertive: having or showing a confident and forceful personality
  • Aggressive: ready or likely to attack or confront
  • Passive: accepting or allowing what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance
  • No answer, being afraid: not doing anything because of being scared
  • No answer, being intelligent: in case responding to the attack is not worthy

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