Pornography is everywhere, and our African young women and girls are growing up in a culture where it is ubiquitous. Internet connectedness means exposure to porn, and we cannot be naive about this.
Young People Passively Exposed
It is not a matter of choice – most young women do not first come across porn because they are actively looking for it. Their first encounter is likely to be through a friend or family member, who either deliberately shows them porn, or who they witness watching it at home or in public. We might think that girls are first exposed to porn in their teens, but it is often when they are much younger.
Sharing Porn
Young people may share porn ‘as a joke’. They don’t realise its power or danger. Reasons they may watch or share porn include:
- to learn about sex
- for sexual arousal and pleasure
- curiosity
- for “a laugh”
- break the rules
- to be disgusted
- to “freak out” their friends
- peer or relationship pressure
Porn can be frightening
Some children may have never heard about sex before they see porn and may think that what they see in porn is typical. Online porn is often much more violent than ‘normal’ sex. Children and young people may think that this is what their parents or other adults do to each other. They may be scared that this is the future that they would expect for themselves. It can be traumatic to watch violence, and we should be aware that exposure to porn can be an act of abuse against a child.
Porn is Dangerous
Whilst in our African cultures, our first thought of porn is about morality, there are specific dangers that young women may face, and these are just a few:
- Exposure to porn can mean young women develop unrealistic attitudes toward sex and consent. In porn, sex is often violent, and girls may not understand that sex is something they need to consent to. In our cultures, we must be aware that men often feel that they can demand sex from women, and porn reinforces this message.
- Porn represents sex as solely about pleasure, and about objectifying the woman. If we want the young women we work with to have fulfilling relationships as adults, we need them to understand that sex can be loving and that it should be part of a respectful relationship. Love should not demand someone else to suffer.
- Porn can make women and girls feel insecure about their bodies. It’s important that young people realise that most of the images they see on the internet are edited. People use filters, and only the most ‘perfect’ people are on show. It’s not normal to look perfect.
Talking about Porn
Pretending (or wishing) that porn didn’t exist won’t magic it away! We need to be aware of it, and its impacts. We need, as youth workers, to be confident to raise this subject in non-judgmental ways. Porn can traumatise young women and girls. It can be a route into grooming. It can become an unwanted addiction. You need to be prepared to talk about it with young women as a youth worker.
Young People Sending Pornographic Pictures
Whilst it may be illegal to send nudes (naked pictures) in countries like Kenya, don’t be fooled: this has become normal for many young women, who may be pressured by boys to send them. It’s important that girls feel able to talk to you about this if they are worried. Many young women and girls are sent disturbing pictures regularly by men they know, or strangers. This can be upsetting and is a form of harassment or abuse.
Young women may freely send intimate naked photographs without being aware of the dangers. There are many cases of girls sending these pictures to boyfriends, only to find this picture shared. It could be on purpose, or his phone could be hacked by a friend or scammer. It’s important for girls to be aware that once a picture has been shared, there is always the potential for it to become public. Girls may find that they are bullied or extorted after a picture becomes public, and extortion can lead to bad consequences. Girls have been known to fall prey to sex traffickers for fear of their parents finding out about their pictures or ending their lives. It’s important for them to know that they can share their fears with you and that you will help them to address these issues.
Supporting Youth Workers
Talking about porn with young people can open a can of worms. There are many online resources which you can access to prepare yourself for this conversation, although many are more directed at parents than youth workers. Don’t fly blind: make sure you are prepared and confident. You should also seek to provide guidance to your youth workers on this subject. It should be clear that no youth worker should discuss her sex life or experience of porn, for example, and you should ensure that porn is not discussed in a way that is age or culturally inappropriate.
Partnership with Parents
It goes without saying that you should talk to parents before talking to young people about porn. Part of this is ensuring that they are informed, and empowering them to talk to their children about sex and porn. It is ideal if they can do this rather than you! You may find that they don’t want to believe that their child is or could be watching porn. It would make sense to bring this up as part of a regular meeting with parents and to decide on guidelines for youth workers to discuss this with their children. Empower parents: there are lots of resources for them, and videos that less literate parents can also watch.
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